Eye of the Beholder?

Today I was pondering what it would be like to be beautiful. Would life really be easier? I mean I spend a lot of time with beautiful people and it’s true. People open doors for them, buy them drinks at bars, go out of their way to talk to them… I could be the center of attention and not just because I made the best joke. At the end of a night I wouldn’t be the one alone with the pleasant smile on my face waiting for everyone to finish having fun so we can leave. (That’s actually the worst because I’ll be the one engaged in conversation all night, laughing talking and then it’s like a totally 180. I get asked about my friend and then, that’s the end of me.) People that weren’t sweet old ladies would tell me I was beautiful. Somehow you are easier to love because people are willing to overlook so many of your flaws just to be near beauty (this one amazed me, but I’ve seen it over and over- 2 people do the same thing, it’s more acceptable from the more attractive one.) I mean I don’t want to be beautiful and mean. I think I’m a good person. I think I’m funny, smart, kind, cute and I know nobody notices because I’m not beautiful. And I see all these beautiful people who play dumb (I don’t believe that they are), and they are mean, but people flock to them all the same. I just think it would be nice to try for a day or a month or a year. Oh well, you can’t change the way people think. I’m a buddy, a pal. I’ll just go on, a flower withering, starved for sunshine and water.

There's nothing wrong with cute, don't get me wrong, I like being cute. Cute just isn't beautiful. Am I being cynical? Maybe I'm being cynical. No cynical is when I said the other day that romance was a lie. I mean I believed every beautiful word, every gesture, and I just kept getting hurt. Maybe I was naïve and too trusting. I didn't think someone would lie about that, why bother? But you see, when you are the neglected flower, and someone waters you, you never stop to think it might be piss and vinegar until it’s too late, and it’s killed part of you. See? That's cynical.